Archive for memories

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 18, 2014 by spitshinedsoul


Winters blue sk(eye)ies brought as many memories as it did snowflakes.
She never did love me as much as I loved her.


july 3rd, 2000

Posted in Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , on July 3, 2011 by spitshinedsoul

I went out by myself today to see the wreckage from the storm last night and just because I felt out of sorts. I wanted to stay away from the traffic and the gas stations and everything so I started towards the park my dad used to take us to for sledding. I wanted to get lost finding it. The houses weren’t familiar though I’d been this way before, I never noticed them. Usually I was too busy laughing and talking and trying to keep up but now I wanted to familiarize myself with them. It was hot, but the breeze felt good, and there weren’t many cars. I wondered what everyone was doing in their homes or what it would be like to wake up in a different bedroom and know the layout as if I’d lived there for years. After nearing the park, I noticed that there were more people sitting outside of their houses and I assumed that their power was out and knew for sure when I saw a tree had come out from the ground, roots stretched and fallen over an entire street, taking power lines as hostage. I crossed the street to get to the park and rode the path until it went around the hill and I stopped to look at it. The grass was flat and at the far of the new swamp, I thought I spotted a tall white bird. It didn’t move, so I thought that maybe it was a trick of the light on piece of tubing or anything really. It wouldn’t be the first time I thought I saw something where there was nothing. I began to pedal again and heard this in my headphones –


“And all the stars were crashing ’round

As I laid eyes on what I’d found

It was a white crane

It was a helpless thing

Upon a red stain

With an arrow its wing”


I smiled at the coincidence and when I came around to the other side of the park, I saw it walking towards the center of the mud, to stay clear of me when I passed. I stopped and watched it for a few moments and wished I had brought my camera. I decided that I would come back tomorrow and see if it was there, or if there were more. Then I realized that tomorrow is the fourth of july, making today the 3rd. It all dawned on me that what I was feeling and how I was behaving was because of the day. I sat down on the grass and stared at the ground and thought about the last day my body was normal, the last day I could run, 11 years ago. I remembered how scared I was and how I didn’t tell anyone that while I was sitting on the couch, my legs became heavier and more numb until they were just dead weight.

On the way home, I saw a few rabbits and they were beautiful.